The Lighter Side of Travel
Humor Catalog

Choosing the Right Travel Companion
Staff writer

Choosing the right travel companion can make the difference between a trip to Heaven or a trip to Hades. And sometimes we find we are with the wrong travel companion after the ship has sailed or the plane has taken off. It's said, "You never really know someone until you live with them." I'd like to add, "or travel with them."

I once traveled with one of my best friends, a woman I had known for nearly 20 years. We grew up together but we never traveled together. So based on this fact, to celebrate our long-standing friendship, we decided to take a cruise to Mexico and Key West. I knew my friend was a shopaholic but I wasn't prepared for her to go in every single store we saw looking for the perfect straw hat and a bathing suit for her husband who wasn't even with us! She never wanted to explore or check out the local attractions her mission was to shop. And she took hours "getting ready." Makeup was worn for every activity, including sunbathing. It drove me nuts.

Another time I traveled to New York City with a friend whose mission it was to consume as much alcohol in as little time as possible. Her goal was to try every possible variation of every libation the planet earth had to offer. And then say lewd things to whatever man was within earshot. What a great way to meet new friends on vacation!

Then I went to Palm Springs with the BEST travel companion I ever had. It was the perfect mixture of sightseeing, shopping, exploring, partying and lumping. Nothing was done to excess, and both parties agreed on every activity.

Like most things in life, the solution lies in communication. Make sure you and your travel companion agree on each other's idea of "fun". One man's bird-watching can be another man's torture. After all, you're on vacation--you don't want to be miserable. Figure out your activites ahead of time--not a strict schedule necessarily, but an idea of things you'll cover; museums, beaches, male strip joints, churches, bars, satanic rituals, etc. This way when you arrive at your destination, both parties will know what to expect.

A Handy Checklist for Choosing the Right Travel Companion
(See how many answers you and your companion agree on.)

What's your idea of "fun" while on vacation?
1. Sightseeing.
2. A trip to the local museums and art galleries.
3. 10 shots of tequila - in a row.

How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
1. 25 minutes (includes a wash and blow dry).
2. The time it takes to read "War and Peace".

3. I'm never really ready.

Do you experience a Zen moment when you whip out your VISA?
1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Is this a trick question?

What is your idea of getting up "early"?
1. 6:00 am.
2. 7:00 am.
3. Anything before 6:00 PM.

Your idea of an ideal vacation is:
1. Exploring the sights, taking photos, visiting local attractions.
2. Beating my last record of "stores visited in an hour."
3. Beating my last record of "Sex on the Beach" shots downed in an hour while singing the words to "My Way".



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