Travel Tips

Travel Tip #1
How to keep the noose off your neck
and the Smile on your Lips when packing for a Trip
Staff writer

I hate packing. Hate it. I never know exactly what to bring so I always wind up bringing too much, yet end up wearing the same clothes I started in at least twice. In an effort to make packing more pleasurabel (tolerable) here are some great packing trips.

1. Make a list of what you'll need to bring and follow it
Duh. I just started doing this myself because I self righteously thought - "Ha! I can remember everything I need. I am Memory Girl!" Who am I kidding? I'm lucky I can remember what I walked into the room for. Make the list.

2. Spread out all the items you want to bring on your bed BEFORE you pack them
What an eye opener this is. I realized how excessive I can be. Maybe I don't need 22 pairs of shorts for a week vacation - unless I plan to be darting into phone booths like Clark Kent every 15 minutes. Also, spreading things out reminds me of anything important I may have forgotten: underwear, the latest copy of MAD magazine, and my lacy French maid's outfit in case…never mind why - that's my business.

3. Pack shoes in separate bags Pack shoes in a separate valise or tote for convenience and easy access, unless you have room to spare in the mother ship suitcase (as if). Again, less is less. A pair of sneaks for working out and walking around, a nice pair of comfortable, yet stylish heels for dinner, some flip-flops for the pool and those little bootie socks with the rubber bottoms to wear in your stateroom so your bare feet don't touch the skeevatz floor and you die of cooties.

4. Travel size toiletries please This should be a no-brainer. Airline rules! For instance, don't lug the Costco size shampoo and crème rinse with you unless you're Andre the Giant. And if you are Andre the Giant, let me know what cabin you're in so I'll know where to go in case I run out of anything.

5. Bring a minimum of Hair Paraphernalia I know how much anxiety this can produce. After all, we all want fabulous hair while on vacation or otherwise. We think we need the blow dryer, hot rollers, curling iron, flat iron, shampoo, conditioner, anti-frizz lotion, mousse, gel, pomade and finishing spray. And if you're half Armenian like me, that's just for the hair on your legs. Scale down people! Besides the travel-size hair products, a blow dryer and one other appliance is all you need -like a toaster. Remember - when in doubt about what to do with your crowning glory - don't forget the best hair solution of all - the baseball cap.

6. Reading materials
The Star, the National Enquirer and the Globe. That's it. Chuck all those grandiose ideas you've had about reading anything that may be nourishing for the brain or intellectually stimulating - it's too much like work. Who needs to be pondering the deficit or if you'll have enough money to retire on what with social security going into the crapper - you're on vacation!


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